How to learn what you did not know you did not know about?

Dear all: Good morning,

Taking a couple of deep breaths would be a fine way to enter this conversation.

Together we are creating a Study Group Gameworld. To become more competent in building gameworlds please explore http://gameworldbuilders.org.

Every gameworld includes a Codex about the structure and purpose of the gameworld. The Codex functions like a bridge into the gameworld. Part of the Codex is the Rules of Engagement which explains our agreements for how to participate in our gameworld. If the Rules of Engagement are not specified and conscious, then the gameworld reverts to ordinary unconscious sleeping-world Rules of Engagement.

This letter is a proposal for the Rules of Engagement for our Study Group gameworld.

WhatsApp, like Emails and Facebook are easily used as ordinary unconscious spaces where Box-to-Box positionality (http://boxmechanics.mystrikingly.com) and Gremlin Feeding Frenzies (http://yourgremlin.mystrikingly.com) are allowed. Ordinary unconscious messaging includes ‘I am right’-‘You are wrong’-warfare, and 'you' messages, rather than radically-responsible 'I' introspection messages.

It is the purpose of our Radiant Joy Brilliant Love / Building Love That Lasts Study Group to implement Adulthood / Extraordinary and Archetypal context (http://setcontext.mystrikingly.com) as invited by the book. The distinction is that: You can either make efforts to be right, or make efforts to be in evolutionary relationship.

Our Study Group is no-place for Gremlin unconscious feeding.

This Study Group Team works at the edge and beyond the edge of modern culture's thoughtware. This means everyone - including the ‘spaceholders’! - balances at the frightening edge of their own Box, beyond which is the nothingness of the unknown.

As a tool, your Conscious Initiated Adult Gremlin needs to be ultra-ready to destroy any space at any time for no reason for successful Team exploration. However, this same Gremlin, used unconsciously, will use all its tricks to defend your Box's status quo.

Any part of your Gremlin that is not conscious (not on your leash sitting at your side) will unconsciously try to dismantle a research group on Love and Relationship.

Having a WhatsApp Study Group Team is a precious safe-space for our Study Group to connect.

Gremlin actions are not allowed here. Gremlin runs freely in almost every other space and interaction in your life. Not here in our Study Group WhatsApp Team.

Our Study Group WhatsApp Team is a learning space, a safe platform to train ourselves to create something different and shift from our ordinary Box-Gremlin positionality to an extraordinary evolutionary weaving of relationship.

If your Box / Gremlin is Hooked (http://becomeunhookable.mystrikingly.com) your are Reacting (http://reactivity.mystrikingly.com). Please stop immediately. Take radical responsibility for who you have just been. Apologize. Take yourself apart in public, starting with your Emotions (http://4emotions.mystrikingly.com) which are not Feelings, and the Ego State you have been identified with (http://egostate.mystrikingly.com). Making a safe place for each other's introspection (http://selfobservation.mystrikingly.com) is one of the treasures we can give to each other in our Team.

HERE IS A HINT FOR HOW TO DO THIS: If you have an urge to answer right away, if your hands are shaking when typing, if you cannot think of anything else, if you are rehearsing the conversation in your head, those are BIG HINTS that your Box and Gremlin are Hooked. Please let your next message be: "I am hooked. I am feeling an Emotion. Can someone please hold space for an emotional healing process for me?” Your Emotions have so much intelligence and information for you. Letting them pass by is a waste of an evolutionary opportunity.

HERE ARE OUR RULES OF ENGAGEMENT FOR CREATING EVOLUTIONARY CONVERSATIONS IN OUR STUDY GROUP WHATSAPP TEAM:

• Use ‘I’ statement, not ‘You’, not ‘We’ statements. Try no navigate to undefendedness.
• A communication always has an emotional component and an information component. Start your sentences with "I feel angry/sad/scared/glad because... or about… I have felt this for more than 3 minutes. This is not a Feeling. It is an Emotion." (http://4feelings.mystrikingly.com and http://4emotions.mystrikingly.com).
• ANY emotion - mixed or unmixed (http://unmixemotions.mystrikingly.com) makes you not present (http://becomepresent.mystrikingly.com).
• The moment you feel an Emotion, change your conversation by saying: "Excuse me. I am feeling an emotion. It is a doorway to an emotional healing process for me. I would like to go through my emotional healing process now. Who is willing to hold space for me to go through this emotional healing process now?" Then set up an appointment with one or two spaceholders as soon as possible and go do the emotional healing process.
• The instant there is any hint of misunderstanding, tension, conflict, or Gremlin comments, STOP TYPING MESSAGES. Pick up the phone and call the other person, preferably with video. Take turns listening to each other with Completion Loops (http://completionloop.mystrikingly.com). Make notes for new practices in your Beep! Book (http://beepbook.mystrikingly.com). Change your life into a life of practice (http://alifeofpractice.mystrikingly.com) instead of a life of defensive, reactive (http://reactivity.mystrikingly.com) habitual Gremlin feeding (http://yourgremlin.mystrikingly.com). Or... go find another group where Gremlin feeding is the group's purpose.
• Ask vulnerable questions to reveal your self-made prison and to learn about yourself, not questions about the other person. This is not a psychoanalysis group.
• Commit to each other's commitment to being in this Study Group: Tell people why a question is important for you. Ask people to tell you why they hesitate to freely and openly connect with you. Listen, take notes, ask for Experiments to try out new behavior. DO THE EXPERIMENTS and report precisely about how they go. Design and do your next Experiment.
• If someone asks for Possibility, create an experiment for them. “Here’s an experiment you could try:…"